A Hotwife Adventure in Italy

There’s a quaint little town tucked into the Italian Dolomite / Alpine foothills that we’ll call Milagro. (Not it’s actual name; the town is very small and we don’t want to create an issue for anyone) If you’re living at the edge of flyover county in PA, well, let’s just say Milagro is ever so slightly off the beaten path. I’m confident that without our marriage being open, we’d never have even heard of it, much less had an amazing experience there.

Here’s the skip over it if you already know us / introduction to us paragraph. Kate and I (Sam) are a married couple in our 50’s whose relationship is Ethically Non-Monogamous (ENM). We’re swingers, our marriage is open; we have sex with other people. We’re in a committed relationship, and somewhere on the polyamorous spectrum; Kate has a boyfriend and is a Hotwife. It’s neither of our first marriages. We met in an AA meeting; we’re each more than a decade sober now. If you’re curious about how this all works, we talk about our relationship in varying degrees of depth in other posts. We have an email address listed in our “about” page if you like to contact us.

I’ve had the privilege to travel extensively across my life. Kate has the wanderlust, and loves exploring nooks and crannies in the world. My opportunities for travel have exceeded hers. A good bit of mine experiences were work related; both in the military and as a civilian. All this to say that when we landed in Italy one morning a couple years ago, despite me never having been, I had a much clearer idea of what to expect.

Given that most travel from the States to Europe involves an overnight flight, and depending on where you’re going, an international connection, coffee is essential. At this point in time, so was having all your various Covid documentation in order. What a flaming cluster fuck that process was. The EU had requirements, each individual country you landed in had requirements, and none were the same. Don’t get me started. Anyway, that day, and to this day, coffee remains an essential piece of the travel puzzle.

When we finally made it to Venice and got into our rental car, we were pretty well whipped. Counting getting to the airport, it was probably 13 hours of moving, and we had an hour drive to go. Adrenalin and closely cropped airport traffic panic got us out of Venice and on our way, but the call for coffee arrived quickly. So, we stopped at a gas station.

In our travel shocked state, neither one of us accounted for the language barrier and the fact that this was Kate’s first time on mainland Europe. As we entered the station, I went for the bathroom and Kate went for coffee. Well.

I walk out of the bathroom and immediately notice Kate being very animated and speaking with her hands. My instant thought was, awesome, she’s fitting right in!! Just as that became fully formed in my mind the words “fucking” and “coffee” entered my ears. Kate was mortified and shocked that the barista was trying to highway rob us by giving us effectively a shot of coffee. Turned out the speaking with her hands was her moving her hands rapidly towards her in the universally recognized gesture of “give me more”. Needless to say, we paid quickly and got out of dodge before things escalated. Coffee 1 Kate 0.

A few months before we left on our Italian adventure, we thought it would be awesome to try to experience some of the lifestyle while there. It didn’t take long to figure out that SDC was the best tool for the job. SDC being one of the “big 3” swinger sites (SLS, Kasidie, and SDC). I’m not linking intentionally; they’re easy enough to find. SDC has a strong international user base, and the interface is efficient.

What we like to do when traveling is to move our site (SDC in this case) profile location to the area we’re traveling to. Sure, you’ll have to explain a bunch of times that no you don’t live there, but will be visiting, not that big of a deal. Some sites have a traveling to feature, but I’m not sure that works as well as changing your location. If you’ve had experience with the travel function, please let us know how it worked for you!

Little by slowly, a plan began to form. We were staying with family on this trip, but we decided that since it’s Italy and a vacation of sorts for us, we were going to take a night for ourselves and get a hotel somewhere. We found a swinger club, I don’t remember exactly where, probably Vicenza. We figured we’d explore for the day, turn of the GPS and get lost for a while, then go to the club that night.

As it usually happens, people on the site noticed the newbie to the area and there were several couples and guys who reached out to us. As it also happens, most weren’t good fits for one of a thousand reasons, logistics being the main one. One guy stood out, his name was Alexandro, and in what’s probably not much of a plot twist to regular readers, he lived in Milagro.

Kate took a rather quick shine to Alexandro, as did I. He was well spoken, confident without being arrogant, and had been around the swinging block for ages; he had a ton of validations from other people on the site. Kate was attracted to his physicality, and Italian good looks as well.

Validations, certs, whatever a given site calls them, are always something I look for and are 100% part of our vetting process. Certs / validations are given by other people who have met the person and verify that this they’re legit and they enjoyed their company. It’s no guarantee of chemistry, but at least you have a degree of confidence that they’re not a serial killer or just playing some game.

I do 99% of our online connecting, well, until recently. When I bring someone or a couple to Kates attention the first question, she asks is always do they have certs.

The time for our night to ourselves arrived, and we made an adventure of it.

Well, a point of order first. We’re not Rockefellers by any stretch. I drive a Subaru, Kate a Nissan. No Jag’s or BMW’s here. We do ok, and we make choices and prioritize what’s important to us. We both like seeing the world and its people; we’re each content with a perpetually half-finished Casa Da Sam and Kate (that’s a saga; a couple in their 50’s getting a fixer upper. Brilliant). I guess we’d rather be travel poor than house poor. Anyway….

The trip started with a drive thru the Alps on kind of a dreary late spring day. We stopped in a couple towns you’ve never heard of and walked around. It was a decidedly cool afternoon with Kate, it’s a joy to watch her see the world. The plan was loose, and the direction of travel pointed to Milagro.

As we arrived in Milagro, we parked where Alexandro suggested and waited for him to walk down. After a short time we see an over coat floppy hat wearing guy come strolling down the street, and we were on. I seem to recall he had an umbrella for Kate. Again, good dude.

The conversation flowed comfortable and naturally as we made our way up to his house. The house was spotless, he had a bowl of fruit and some sparkling water out. We learned a lot about hosting in lifestyle situations from Alexandro.

Kate and Alexandro were like moths to a flame with each other; it was clear they were each the opposite sex version of themselves. Their energy together was really quite something.

I don’t have many lifestyle superpowers, but I can read a room and be comfortable with not being an active participant. The “plan” was that we’d have an MFM threesome. As they were heating up and removing clothes, exploring each other, I decided to stay dressed and play photographer. There were no objections. They each knew this was the only time they’d ever have together, and the sexual energy and connection in the room was between the two of them; I wouldn’t have been additive had I been involved.

It was fantastically intimate, for all three of us. My being on the sidelines added a performative and exhibitionist element for Kate and Alexandro that was additive to the energy. The sex spilled over multiple rooms and several pieces of furniture for the next hour or so. It remains one of our top two or three all-time favorite lifestyle experiences.

Exactly when It was supposed to be over, it was. After some time with Alexandro, he walked us down to our car and we went on our merry way to find our hotel for the night, which was an hour or so away. We had a nice meal and the decidedly fancy hotel and opted to spend time with each other in the room as opposed to venturing out.

While ya never know what the future may hold, I don’t expect our paths will cross again. That’s OK, it was a wonderful experience, one that whenever it comes up puts a smile on both our faces. When last we heard from Alexandro, he was smiling about the memory as well.

As always, thank you for reading!!! Be kind to yourself and others!!!

Sam & Kate