Everything You Could Possibly EVER Want to Know!!!

I’m going to use our own words for this, no copying and pasting from other people’s work. If ChatGPT is used (like it is for the Hotwife definition used in an earlier article of ours) I’ll note it specifically.

If you want to see something added, please comment on this post or drop us an email and if it fits, we’ll add it. Also, if you take issue with what we have here, let’s talk about it!!

There’s lots of fluidity and not so much rigidity with all of this, especially the relationship types. What follows are more guidelines than rules….

Agreements — Negotiated relationship structures between partners. Probably gets pretty similar to rules, but not all the way there. Can be used for things like how much time someone spends with an outside partner, where they play. Agreements are a big deal with open couples, and they tend to be flexible and evolve.

Boundries — Your limits. Where you draw the line as it pertains to your needs and space.

Bull — A man who’s not the primary partner of a woman and is involved with a couple strictly for sex in a Cuckold or Hotwife dynamic. Typically has dominant energy and there is some sort of power exchange with him.

Chastity — Typically when the male in a relationship voluntarily agrees to be denied orgasm. This can be either via willpower or by wearing of a device designed to prevent access to the penis.

Compersion — Feeling joy at your partner feeling joy. In our relationship, Kate being in a place of abundance brings me to the same place. Hard to define. Some say it’s the opposite of jealousy; getting off on your partner getting off.

Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) — a relationship between more than 2 people that’s entered into with the willing consent of all direct participants.

Cuckold / Cuckolding — Similar to Hotwifing. A one way open relationship where the wife has sex with other men and the husband’s sexual activity is restricted. Often includes elements of eroticized humiliation for the husband, as well as elements of power exchange.

Cuckqueen — Same as cuckolding in a couple, but the roles of the male and female are reversed.

Edging — The process of bringing a partner (or yourself, can be a solo activity) to the brink of orgasm and stopping the stimulation prior to orgasm happening. Often repeated multiple times. Can be a VERY intense experience.

Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) — Same as CNM with the added “requirement” that all partners of those engaging in the ENM relationship are aware and consent. IE should Kate play with a married man, his wife is aware and consents.

FFM — A threesome with 2 females and one male. On FFM, FMF, MFM, MMF, the adjacency of the letters may indicate who is interacting with whom, e.g. in an MFM, the Males don’t play with each other. Thanks Calm Cntrl. I think which letter is capitolized can mean the same thing. IE fFM, mMF. I don’t know. If you’re going to have a threesome, talk to the people involved.

FLR / Female Lead Relationship — I’m not really a guru here. My understanding is that it’s a power exchange relationship where the female has the power. Can be as kinky or vanilla as the couple (female) chooses.

Fuckboy / Fucktoy — “A guy you use for sex, no connection needed” — Kate

Full Swap — A swinging encounter where the boundaries of all involved include penetrative sex.

FWB — “Someone who you don’t have a romantic relationship with, but you exchange sexual experiences with” — Kate. More of a relationship and connection than with a Fucktoy.

Hotwife — “A Hotwife refers to a married woman who has sexual relationships with other men, typically with the knowledge and enthusiastic consent of her husband. It often involves elements of exhibitionism, cuckolding, and open relationships.” — Chat GPT……I added “enthusiastic.”

Lifestyle — A broad umbrella term covering all aspects of consensual and ethical non-monogamy.

MFM (or MMF or mMF) — A threesome with 2 males and one female. Some people use various letters capitalized to indicate if male to male contact is involved. I’ve never understood or figured that part out.

Monogamish — In our mind, this is part time swingers. People who swing when on vacation sort of thing. Other definitions are basically people who have sex with others and no romantic connection. This is a broad thing, kind of like polyamory in that regard. It has a lot of space.

New Relationship Energy (NRE) — That kindof fluttery in your stomach butterflies feeling when you’re engaging with a new partner. Probably something close to Puppy Love. It’s natural and can be very powerful. NRE can cause significant issues in a relationship that’s open. Especially if you don’t recognize it, deny it, or believe it’s more than it is. — Props to High Flight for the addition of the last sentence.

Non-Monogamy — A relationship where one or both partners have sexual or emotional (or both) relationships with others outside of their partnership. Can be ethical or not, consensual or not. Cheating is in here.

Open Relationship — A relationship where both partners have the space and freedom to pursue outside sexual or romantic connections.

Pegging — Using a strap on to have anal sex with someone. Most commonly a woman wearing a strapon dildo having anal sex with a man.

Play — Lifestyle word for sex or sexual activity.

Polyamory — Many loves. A non monogamous relationship style where partners are involved romantically with others.

Reclaiming / Reconnecting — A husband having sex with his wife after she has sex with another man. Can be a highly fetishized ritualistc thing.

Same Room — In the swinger context, a boundry that some couples have with regard to them playing with others; they will ony swing with both partners in the same room.

Slut — A person, typically a female, who’s sexually adventurous and promiscuous. Also, from our Sluttery and Slut Shaming post back in February: I’d define a slut as a strong woman who’s authentically sexually empowered. She does sexuality on her terms and how it works for her. Kate is a slut who likes to fuck a variety of people. No reason someone can’t be equally slutty and have only ever had sex with one person, or none I suppose. Also, you don’t have to have a vagina to be a slut. That said, it’s pretty clear that the mainstream usage is female gendered.

Soft Swap — A swinging encounter with another couple or couples and there is no penetrative sex. This is typically addressed in the conversations leading up to play.

Swinger / Swinging — A couple that has sex with other couples. Usually a very social environment.

Sugar Baby / Sugar Daddy — A transactional relationship. The Sugar Daddy (man) provides goods or services to the Sugar Baby in exchange for her time and agreed upon behavior. There’s lots of grey here. Goods and services could be as innocent as buying dinner, agreed upon behavior as simple as a dinner date.

Threesome — A sexual experience with 3 people.

Tolyamory — A monogamous relationship where one member tolerates the infidelity of the other. Not open, consensual, or ethical.

Unicorn — A solo woman who joins another couple for play / sex. Solo males are not unicorns because they’re neither magical nor rare 😂

Vanilla — Conventional “normal” sex. A person or couple who do not engage in any type of kink or lifestyle activities.