Some Thoughts on our Medium Journey

It’s human nature to look back every now and then and take stock, look at where you’ve been, lessons learned, things that went well, and things that have room to improve. Given it’s been a full 6 months that Kate and I have been writing and sharing here on Medium, seems a good time to reflect a bit.

Kate and I are floored by how many people have read what we’ve shared, and how many people are following us. We set out with zero goals or objectives here, just to put stuff out and see what happens. It’s been equal parts surprising, rewarding, and humbling.

We seem to have resonated with some people. We’re each really thrilled with that. That’s why we got into this and why we live how we do; connecting with people. Some of our sexual stuff is a bit not in the mainstream, but Kate and I are pretty mainstream folks. So are most people it seems. My sense is that people like knowing that they’re not alone in having to balance their Superman sex lives, with their Clark Kent “regular” lives. Well, that or folks like Hotwife stuff.

Thank you to everyone who’s read, clapped, commented, followed or emailed.

We’ve done none of the marketing thing’s that I guess you’re supposed to do to grow your presence. I’m not interested in doing that, it kind of makes me itch, and Kate could care less. The one thing that’s giving me some thought about doing a bit of that is some of the feedback we’ve received both here in comments, and in email.

Should that happen, it would be nothing obnoxious; Twitter, Threads, that sort of thing. I’m really on the fence about it, it has a somewhat Pandora’s box feel to it……..When in doubt, don’t. That’s something Kate and I have learned since getting sober, and that’s where I’m landing at the moment. Time will tell.

Kate and I have been in and around the broader non-monogamy scene for a while now. We’re aware that there aren’t a ton of authentic, non hyperbolic voices, that also aren’t trying to sell you something. That’s where we want to land; talk about some of our experience, share some of our thoughts, with no sales pitch. We’re also looking for a sence of consistency with this blog, with more Clark than Superman energy.

When we started this, the thinking was it would be a post every couple weeks or so. That’s not how it’s happened. We’ve settled into a weekly-ish cadence, and it feels right. I’ve always enjoyed writing, and look forward to putting something out every week.

When I got sober, I started journaling. It’s waxed and waned over the years, but in the first 18 months or so, I wrote about 950 pages. I’ve still got it all, and wow is it a trip to go back and read. I was 100% Coo Coo for Coco Puffs, still am in some ways. It’s good to get today’s thought process and thinking about ENM things in general down on “paper”. I’m sure it will be interesting at some point down the road to look back.

Along those lines, we have started talking about doing some type of book. That looks different written down than it does talking about it. It’s in the food for thought stage.

Our process is pretty simple, I don’t know if it even qualifies as a process. Typically once an article is posted, I’ll ask Kate what her thinking is on the next topic to write about. Sometimes I’ll say this is what I’m writing about this week. We’ll talk here and there about the topic, and I’ll get writing. Sometimes Kate will read what’s in the rough draft stages, mostly not.

Kate isn’t a fan of this paragraph, but I’m keeping it in because I always enjoy reading about this stuff. I use Microsoft Word for all the writing. I keep telling myself that I should give markup a try and use more of a pure editor, that hasn’t happened yet. I split evenly between writing on a MacBook Air and an iPad Pro. Word is a better experience on the MacBook but given there’s not a whole lot of formatting or complexity in the structure, using it on the iPad Pro is fine. The iPad goes on my daily work travel with me, while the laptop stays home. Point of order…..Kate’s editorial axe did kill a different paragraph; balance.

Wednesday’s have kind of become the shift from rough to smooth draft day. Kate will typically do her first serious edit then. Usually, her input at this point is catching typos and clarifying something. Her big input has been during the 4–5 days of writing. A thought here, a snippet of conversation there, maybe a point from a blog or pod she’s listened to. I do 95% of the keyboard time for a post, but the idea and concept part is much closer to 50–50.

The process has been grounding for us. Our energy as lifestyle people has been a little bit low so far this year. There has been some family stuff that has sucked up a vast amount of the available oxygen, and that had to be dealt with. That piece is in a different place now; much of the unknown has been replaced by goals and objectives, not all pleasant, but doable. Writing to and engaging with you guys on the other side of the digital divide has in no small measure kept us both sane. Again, thank you.

A couple of technical points…..

Here’s two things I’ve learned about posting on Medium that may be of use to other writers, espicially those just starting out. First of all, the play function is awesome. It’s a totally different thing to hear what you’ve written, never fails to point out some grammar or usage thing. Word has the same functionality on phones and tablets, not sure about the full blown Mac / PC version.

Second is something that I’d guess is documented pretty clearly somewhere, but I flat missed it: how to do subtitles. Subtitles gave me fits for our first several posts, I couldn’t figure out how to do them. Just in case someone else is struggling, here’s the secret sauce:

– From your Medium profile icon, select stories then write a story.

– Give your post a title like normal, hit return.

– Type your subtitle

– Highlight and then right click on the highlighted part

– Select the smaller “T” in the pop up

– Bingo, you now have a subtitle

Given the screen shot above, not much of a plot twist what next weeks post’s will be. I mentioned earlier that our lifestyle energy has been low, that’s changed. Chris, the Sam & Kate reader we met for coffee, and Kate have started their adventures. It’s interesting energy, Kate and I don’t really have a word for it yet, maybe we will by posting time next week.

I’d be remis to not wish Clifford the Wonder Dog a Happy Birthday!!! She was born somewhere between the 3rd and 6th of July, 2020; we’ve decided to just go with the 4th.

Happy 4th of July to those in the states!!!!

Yo, seriously, thanks for the support!!!

Thanks for reading!!! Be kind to yourself and others,

Sam & Kate