It’s Not What You Think…..(Tho Pool Sex with Kate isn’t Horrible)

I’ve written in the past about how Kate and I had a very public display of affection last year at a local club’s pool party. Well, we fucked in “public”. In the pool. It was awesome, and moved rapidly up the list of my all time favorite memories. In that post I mention that I’d love to know what we looked like from across the pool.

I now have a pretty good idea.

We went to a friends house last weekend for a clothing optional pool party. I’m not sure what the optional part entailed, because there wasn’t a stitch of clothing on any of the 10 of us in the pool.

It was pretty clear that the host had an eye for Kate. He’s a swingers swinger, and clearly enjoys it. He has an energy that’s a good bit more assertive than mine, the type of energy that used to make me kind of uncomfortable. Over time and experience, I’ve learned to roll with things in the swinger space. I’ve learned to let Kate be the arbiter of what she’s comfortable with and not, what she enjoys and doesn’t. As it happens, she likes and has fun with that energy; she feeds right back into it.

He’s a very sexual guy, and Kate’s a very sexual woman, it didn’t take long for the two of them to connect and put on quite a show.

Somehow, Kate ended up on her back on the deck, with the still poolbound host’s face at the V between Kate’s glistening in the sun thighs. Her back arched in the unmistakable and impossibly sexy way only a woman’s can be. Her nipples firm in the afternoon air, blonde hair slicked back from the pool. She was a fucking vision for sure. The other 8 of us in the pool couldn’t keep our eyes off of them. Conversation trailed away and basically stopped as she pivoted back into the pool and started to fuck him. It was clear neither of them were suffering.

There’s always an element of the unknown going somewhere for the first time, and meeting new people. We’re decidedly not virgins at doing this in swinger land, but human nature is what it is. Doubt and predictive doomsdaying creep in. That’s not all bad. We recognize what it is at this point, and while not making the shift into hardcore projection, use that space to talk about possible contingencies should a shitshow develop. It’s part of our process. Think making lemonade when life gives you lemons.

As it usually happens, our experience was geometrically closer to the best case scenario than the worst. There’s a two word answer for why this is usually the case: The People.

The crowd at the party, none of whom we had met before, was awesome. Counting us, throughout the day, I think there were seven total couples. A nice small intimate shindig, much more our speed than the club scene.

Swinging, in our area at least, tends to be a very white affair. I can count on one hand the total number of Black swing couples we’ve seen or met, maybe a few more Hispanic or Asian couples. I don’t know why, something worth looking into a bit. Is it a universal thing? Not sure. We’ve met (and played with, together in one way or another, or Kate solo) a few solo Black guys, they’re certainly players in the broader lifestyle.

Factoring out the skin color, there were all sorts at the party: farmer’s and chemists, mechanics and nurses. Blue and white collar people. Kinky people. Bi, straight, somewhere in the middle. Partiers. Ages started at 40 and ran up into the 50’s.

There was a microcosm of the known swinger universe at the party. Here’s the cast of characters:

• The Swingers Swinger / The Horn Dog — 100% the host. Him we’ve already talked about. I’d put Kate in this group as well.
• The Talker. There were two, one male one female. The female was our hostess, and had the perfect chill vibe that you always hope for in a hostess. Everyone’s her friend, she tiptoed around the edge of over sharing about, well, everything. As a result, within an hour it feels like you signed each others yearbooks in high school and are just catching up. The male talker was a regular at this party, and had the same long lost friend vibe. He and his wife have very similar energy to Kate and I. We’re already texting.
• The Surprise. This would be the male talkers wife. She’s a good looking woman with a kinky and sexual streak that’s not on the surface, at least when you first meet her. This woman is sporty for sure. The four of us are cautiously optimistic that we’ll hit it off pretty well. More in a few paragraphs about the surprise.
• The Comedian. Kate commented a couple times that he was good looking. He and his wife left early, I hope our paths cross again. As the host (the swingers swinger) was getting ready to cook, he made a show of sitting on the edge of the pool, legs spread, asking who wanted a lick. One thing lead to another very quickly, and it became a blowjob from the ladies for burgers trade. Waaaaaaaay less icky than it sounds, everyone was laughing and it was good theater. The comedian, at a quiet point, piped up saying he’d be right over. Not at all what the host was looking for, and everyone cracked up even more. It was the right line at the right time. He aced it.
• The Just Happy to be Here Guy. The guy who’s still sort of surprised that he’s here, and how his life has turned. Comfortable, not over the top at all. This would be me I think.
• The couple you wish you talked to more. There’s never enough time, and the flow of conversation is what it is. There’s always that couple, and you always hope you cross paths with them again. We exchanged SLS contact info, and have been in contact. Time will tell….

One of the bigger mysteries in swinger land is how difficult it is for women to find women to spend time with. Hang out with, and play with. There’s no shortage of bi or bi curious women, problem is they tend to come with a husband attached. I take it as an article of faith that the energy between two women is different when there’s a penis owner in the room, and the difference isn’t to the good. The Surprising one from this weekend started this conversation, and Kate agrees 100%.

As it happens, her hubby, the talker, is of a similar mindset to me. He’s 100% on board with the ladies having time to themselves as well. There may or may not be some four way play in the air also. Time will tell, the seeds are planted all the way around.

There’s really no other environment like the one we were in Saturday. The conversations ranged from talk of swinger travel, kids and grandkids, hummus recipes, dogs, (swingers love dogs. The hosts had an awesome 9 month old pup who, much like Clifford the Wonder Dog, was everyone’s best friend). Of course, there was plenty of talk of past swinger escapades and the characters you meet along the way. I don’t remember anyone bitching about anything.

This itself was a topic of conversation, during the worlds least serious game of water volleyball, ever. We talked about how the host and his attentions towards Kate weren’t at all out of bounds or a cause for drama. There’s just not a “get your hands off my woman” vibe for the most part. I’ve heard it can show up, particularly among newer swingers, but I’ve yet to see it myself. To a couple, the biggest smiles during the blowjobs for burgers event were from the husbands of the woman “earning” her burger. Compersion, whether anyone is aware of it or not, just lives in swinger spaces.

Some years from now, “Naked as a jaybird, at a swinger pool party” will be my answer to the question: “Where were you when you heard about the assassination attempt on Trump?” Divisive as our politics are today, no one at the party made any hay about this, nor was it talked about. In fairness, I’m not sure everyone was aware it was happening….

Thanks for reading!!! Be kind to yourself and others!!!

Sam & Kate