Well, One Out of Three Ain’t Bad….

I can’t believe that it’s closer to the beginning of October than the end of August at this point. Along those lines, and apologies in advance if you’re of our age, we’re further time wise from 9/11 than 9/11 was from 1980….Nothing fucks you harder than time.

Anyway…it’s been a slow news week here at Casa Da Sam & Kate. Despite giving it the old school try over the last couple days, I’m just not feeling a preachy lecture like post about the merits of being authentic. That’s where this week was going until I started to feel plastic and un-authentic writing about being authentic. So, there’s that.

That post is now added to a stack of half written posts that I suppose will eventually bear some fruit. I much prefer story telling over lecturing, all the half-written stuff is of the latter variety.

Given the title of the post, I do have a sex story to get to. It’s cumming (see what I did there???). Speaking of the title, props to JA Martin for recognizing the title potential of that phrase!!

If there was a blowjob merit badge, Kate would have hers several times over. As it happened, I had to suffer thru a top 5 all time Kate sloppy wet blowjob last Saturday. Getting there was a bit of an adventure.

There were a couple of things planned or thought about for last Saturday. Chris was going to be coming over to spend the night, and there was a meet and greet that we thought about hitting as well. Chris (who’s developed an appreciation for a Kate BJ as well) was under the weather last week, it ended up lingering into the weekend. He made the call to punt, which was the right move.

The meet and greet was something that we were lukewarm about. It was mainly a younger more socially focused crowd, and it was (surprise) and hour away. We had thought it might be fun, especially if Chris was around and going, but we never committed to it.

Between Chris’ plague, and our overall “meh” about the M&G, Kate and I found ourselves in an odd circumstance. We were both off on a Saturday, no grandkid or family commitments, no broader recovery community commitments, no lifestyle commitments. So, we planned to fuck like bunnies. We’d get there eventually, but we had to make a mess of it first.

Communicating is hard. Kate and I do it pretty well, and we still manage to screw it up on a reliably predictable basis.

One of the biggest traps is either of us assuming the other is a psychic and a mind reader. In my head, we were going to play around a bit later in the evening. In Kate’s mind, we were going to fool around directly after her shower. Well….

Kate finished her shower and got stuff moving in the play arena. She poked her head in (I was playing my guitar at the time) and said something about being almost ready.

Guys, here’s a tip for ya: if a beautiful sexy woman with dripping wet hair, wearing a silky little number and a smile says she’s almost ready……”for what” isn’t the answer you’re looking for.

Of course that didn’t land well, and Kate took it as a rejection, which is never easy to deal with. I went into defend and protect mode, and off to the races we went.

Something that factored into this (for us both) was the lingering low grade emotional hangover from being rejected by the couple we talked about last week. That sort of thing festers for a while. Kate just opined thru the now broken door to the porch (don’t get me started) that this rejection also colored her lack of enthusiasm for the meet and greet. I can’t argue the point.

We’re no different in the sense that sex stuff can cause headspace problems at the drop of a hat when the circumstances are right. We’re human. We’ve been around the block a time or two with each other going off the rails.

Something that I’ve struggled with over the years and am finally getting better at is trying to “fix” everything right the fuck then. It’s been a painful journey, but I’ve learned the merit of having restraint of tongue and pen in these moments. Kate needs some space to breathe before addressing a conflict; she’s adjusted to the energy of us as well. We’ve each learned to meet in the middle; neither instantly, nor a day later.

Far as I can tell, the secret to having long term contented sobriety is to not beat yourself up too badly when you screw something up or when life happens. Not if, when.

Mistakes will be made, tempers will flair, tires will go flat, shoelaces will break. The mojo lies in recognizing when these things happen and responding differently than before. Turns out the solution to every problem isn’t found at the bottom of a bottle of Jack. Who knew.

Thankfully, before her hair was all the way dry Kate and I had swung back around to the normal side. Not all the way right, but right enough to continue the night. That’s something I adore about us; the trust and confidence we have in our relationship. We KNOW that despite not being all the way right, we’d get there. We took 15–20 minutes without consciously realizing it; gave the physiological stuff a chance to settle down, then we met up again on the porch couch.

Kate was still in her little silky number, I sat across the couch, facing her as we do. (It’s how we sit on couches, we don’t have a TV). After a few moments of light conversation about the weather I think, I felt her fingers on my thighs. A soft touch, nothing urgent, connecting, moving slowly up.

Our house sits above, and I guess 50–75 yard from the road. A driver can tell if someone’s sitting on the porch, but not what’s going on. Kate took good advantage of this and the low light from the setting sun.

Before too much time passed, she had worked my shorts down and her mouth replaced her fingers. One of my favorite things on God’s green earth is running my fingers thru Kate’s hair when she’s just out of the shower. So much the better doing it as her mouth is treating me to one of the great pleasures of being a penis owner.

This went on for a perfectly wonderful period of time. When the moment was right, we shifted inside and up to the bedroom. The sex was great, excellent orgasms for the both of us.

Shifting gears….

There’s been enough time for the dust to settle from our coming out to our kids as ENM. There haven’t been any issues, if anything, it’s improved the relationships with all the kids.

View at Medium.com

I think there’s a couple of reasons for this.

First, the way we approached telling them. We didn’t ask for permission or what they thought about it. We told them this is who we are and how we’re living our lives. Sure, it was a dramatic thing for them each to hear, but it was done in a drama free manner. They’ve see us deal with some pretty big mazza balls, and know that when we’re serious, we’re serious and plain spoken.

Secondly, it’s an intimate thing, and sharing intimate things honestly and authentically builds trust. Of course, we didn’t get into details about anything sexual, we didn’t want to, and what kid wants to know those details about their ‘rents.

Finally, while I don’t think any of them are over the moon joyous about it, they see that we’re happy, and they like being happy for us.

Maybe not such a slow news week after all.

Thanks for reading!!! Be kind to yourself and others!!!

Sam & Kate

PS….If you’ve made it this far, please take a moment and clap (once, or up to 50 times) for this post. It’s feedback for Kate and me, (comments and highlites are always welcome too!) and helps push the story up algorithmically. Thanks!!!