Luck Of The Irish-ish On St. Patrick’s Weekend
***Our episode on the Normalizing Non Monogamy podcast is out. It’s episode 384, and linked in this sentence. A reminder that we use our real names on that episode. We’ve each listened to it a couple times and are happy with it. Thanks again to Fin and Emma for having us on as guests!!***
Polyamory, I’ve heard it said, is for people with a scheduling kink. IDK if that’s the God’s truth, but it strikes me as more right than wrong. Kate and I are poly in the same way we’re a cuck couple, loosely and on our terms. There are elements of both those things in our relationship, but we’re not defined by either.
Kate, much more than me, is a virtual slave to her calendar. She’s got many irons in many fires, and keeping up with her comings and goings is a constant topic of conversation between us. Her work schedule varies week to week, there’s grandkids 3–4 nights a week, a juggle of hair appointments, life appointments, lifestyle dates, etc etc. One the other hand, I work a 9–5 gig (with some on-call thrown in) and have maybe one appointment every 6 months. What’s endearing as hell with Kate is she keeps all her stuff in a paper “week at a view” book, complete with a rubber band holding it all together, well sometimes.
Given all the moving scheduling pieces in Kate’s life, she’s absolutely learned to roll with changes in plan. I wonder if that’s a more common trait in women than men. Guys seem to be a good bit more rigid than women. HUGE rabbit hole there, and a HUGE squirrel that just interrupted this paragraph. So, when a loose plan with Chris kind of fell by the wayside, she rolled with both that and me swooping in with a new plan.
It’s a rare thing for us to be sitting at 3:30 or so on a Friday, where we’re both off for the weekend had have nothing on the calendar, well, -ish. Kate’s plan with Chris was still in play, but he was temporizing, which is fair and in bounds. He wasn’t shitty or vague, didn’t feel like he was leading either of us on. Still, at about 3:30 I made the command decision that Kate and I were going out for dinner and dancing Saturday night. This happened to be the St. Patrick’s Day party at a lifestyle club we’d been to in the past, but not in many many moons.
I wasn’t all the way sure how Kate was feeling about it initially. Any trepidation I had fell away when I got home and noticed the green dress out in the bedroom.
If you’re reading us for the first time……Kate and I are a married couple in our 50’s whose relationship is Ethically Non-Monogamous (ENM). We’re swingers, our marriage is open; we have sex with other people. We’re in a committed relationship, and somewhere on the polyamorous and cuckold spectrums; Kate has a boyfriend (or two) and is a Hotwife. It’s neither of our first marriages. We met in a 12 step meeting; we’re each more than a decade sober now. If you’re curious about how this all works, we talk about our relationship in varying degrees of depth in other posts. We have an email address listed in our “about” page if you would like to contact us.
Apparently, our neck of the woods is a bit of a hotbed for lifestyle / swinger clubs. I can think of 6 that are within call it 90 minutes of so. The club we went to last Saturday night, TJ’s, was also the very first club we went to. It’s pretty much in the middle of nowhere, maybe a half hour from Harrisburg.
Anyone who’s a regular or semi-regular reader knows that we’re not huge club folks. We don’t dislike them persay, more a just not our jam kinda thing. That said, we do like meeting people, and we do like dancing. So, when I floated the idea last Friday, we were both ready to try it again.
We ended up having a GREAT time.
After having our meal (TJ’s features a sit down dinner menu that’s not too shabby) Kate and I found seats kindof against the back of the dance floor, which was in the front of the dance area if that makes any sense. Great spot to see and be seen.
There always seems to be a core group who’s on the dance floor in a given night; after a bit of dancing and the passing of a half hour or so, we became familiar with the players.
There were a few couples in our broader age range, a few younger a few older. There were the women who were dancing either with themselves or with other women. That’s always difficult for me to figure out. I look around and don’t see their hubbies / SO’s anywhere. They drift in for a song or two then fade back into the woodwork.
Of course, there were players afoot as well. Single / solo guys looking to connect with someone or a couple. Most of these guys seem to lack the confidence to have much game, then you get guys like Brian.
Brian was our age-ish, and wore a fedora and white linen shirt with the confidence ya have to have to pull that off. He flowed in, out and around the dance area, ready smile and very capable dance moves. In a surprise to no one, Kate, wearing the green teddy and mesh skirt, she was was soon in his sights. He came over and asked her to dance, making sure with us both that I was on board with it. Well, of course I was.
They danced a couple times over the course of an hour or so. Each time they were clearly jabber jawing like long lost friends. I’m who I am and dance as such: a late middle age white dude with questionable rhythm at best. Brian is who he is, a native of Jamaica with the natural rhythm of the islands in his step. It was a lot of fun to see the two of them dancing, they looked great together, and Kate’s smile told the tale of the tape.
At some point, Brian asked Kate if she was interested in going to a play room. After touching base with me and the three of us making sure all were in sync and on board, off we went.
I’ve long since learned to read the room when it comes to Kate and encounters like this, and she’s long since learned to roll with whatever the energy is. This night it was pretty clear that Kate was looking for multiple men; Brian and I had zero issues obliging her.
Threesomes can be awkward and tentative as the day is long, they can also have a very organic ebb and flow, where every move and action is exactly what’s right in the moment. This night was one of the latter. Pleasure taken and received by all, lots of smiles and joy.
Our return to the club scene was a success on all levels. The food was on point, the volume of the music was several decebiels lower than we remember it being, and the DJ played a great vairety. Our time with Brian was the icing on a really solid cake.
A couple of Clifford stories for the tail end of the post.
We had Clifford out for a run earlier in the week, and given it was warm-ish and she loves the water, I may or may not have “accidently” thrown a stick or several into the creek that runs thru the park. Not her first rodeo this year, she adores swimming.
One stick I tossed got a little too much air under it. That combined with the current pushed the stick very close to the far edge. Too close as it happens.
While working the stick, Cliff decided that she really wanted to see what other sticks there were on the far side. So, she climbed out. The three of us all had an “Oh fuck” moment simultaneously when we realized that Clifford wasn’t having making the jump back into the creek. She had wandered just a little bit and lost track of the path she took getting out. It was a 2–3 foot jump into the water and that was a bridge too far for our typically runs in from the shore girl.
The situation resolved itself in fairly short order, but it was interesting for a couple minutes. She eventually got to a spot she was comfortable with and crossed over. Of course, I immediately grabbed a stick and asked Cliff if she wanted to swim again. “Don’t you fucking dare!!!” was Kate’s response….Cliff and I shared a smirk cause we knew I was playing.
The other little thing involves another walk with Cliff, this time last night and up the mountain.
I had occasion to find myself in stinking distance of one of our favorite restaurant today so I floated the idea of a to go order to Kate. Given it’s been a minute since we’ve had food from this place, she jumped right on board. Problem was she had pulled a piece of trout from the freezer for dinner tonight.
The fish had thawed, and Kate’s not one to waste food.
I’ve mentioned a time or several in the blog that Kate is an exceptional human. She’s empathetic and giving, always kind. She showed that with the fish tonight. She decided she’d take it on the walk with us and leave it for the forest critters halfway up the mountain. She suspects a raccoon ended up with it, I’m leaning more bear or coyote, better noses on them. Either way, some furry 4 legged friend had a significant WTF is this doing here moment just before enjoying a great meal.
Thanks for reading!!! Be kind to yourself and others,
Sam & Kate
Sam and Kate 
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