Strike While The Iron Is Hot

Taking Your Shot In Cuckolding Isn’t What You Think

It’s Friday night, 20 till 11. Kate had to go to work for a couple hours, she should be home by 10 past or so. Clifford, who for reasons that escape us, doesn’t hang out with me unless Kate’s home, is upstairs. A solo me phobia isn’t one of Billie’s neurosis, she’s conked out the couch 3 feet away. There may or may not be a chowhoud cat in the house ATM, I can’t keep track of their comings and goings this time of the year.

I had a really good night with Ben. We’ve had an uneven relationship at times over the years; father’s and son’s I suppose. The one common bridge that’s always been there for us is Star Wars. We don’t always agree on the finer points of SW lore, and that doesn’t matter; for lack of a better way to put it, it’s always been a safe place for us.

Over the years, we’ve managed to see the majority of Star Wars movies on opening night / day together. The original trilogy when they were first re-released in the ‘90’s, each of the Prequels, Solo, Rogue One, and I think The Last Jedi. Add The Mandalorian and Grogu to the list.

Neither of us went in to the Mando flick with very high expectations; we both walked out grinning ear to ear. It’s a Star Wars movie that is more at home in say 1979 than 2026. Haters gonna hate, and I’m sure it will get nit picked till the cows come home, but it was a really good movie. We both agreed that it was basically a season of Mando. Sure, if it was a 10 episode run there would be an episode or two of side treks and Mandalorian lore, but it’s pretty easy to see that main arc would have worked on the small screen.

If, like me, you’ve been a SW fan since the 70’s this is a must see. There’s plenty of aliens, plenty of very recognizable vehicles; it’s very clear what universe you’re in. There’s also some of that Star Wars magic that just rhymes over the decades. No over the top fan service to speak of, tho seeing Grogu / baby Yoda grabbing a walking stick in a forest / jungle scene was enough to warm any long term fan’s heart.

Side note, I mentioned Pink Floyd’s song “Money” in our last post. Bit of sad news related to that today. Dick Parry, the guy who played that song’s killer sax solo passed away earlier today. He was 83. I think it’s safe to say if you hear a sax on a Floyd song, it’s him playing hit. RIP.

Given most of the rest of the post is written, and Kate should be home soon, I”m putting this down for now.

Way back in the day, years before I got sober, when I was still with my ex, I got on the Ashley Madison site. This was long before they had their data breech. It’s not something I’m proud of, nor is it something I recommend. I’m not going to get into a whole lot about it or life for me back then, but among the lessons learned was the topic of this post.

I did meet a woman on the site, we crossed paths and had a meal. She was looking for the same things I was; the thrill of the illicit, the fling, the affair. As I recall, our home lives were roughly similar. She was more experienced; she was my first, I wasn’t hers.

After the meal, we went our separate ways. The next day she called off our budding whatever the hell it was off. She said that if I was interested I would have kissed her the night before. Well, I was, and I damn sure didn’t. In the end, that non-kiss was 100% the best thing that could have happened in the moment, I don’t want to contemplate too much what a shitshow that relationship would have both been and created back then.

The iron was hot, and I didn’t strike.

Fast forward the better part of a decade…..I’m sober for a few years, my ex had become my ex, I’m living on my own and traveling the world for work. Kate had little by slowly become more than a sober buddy. Some flirty texts while I was in some far flung place or another had gotten us to the point where I was stopping by her shop to say hello after I got back to the states, and got a nights sleep.

As it happens, there was no one else there when I got there. I had a pretty high degree of confidence that she was in the same place headspace wise as I was. The iron was hot. This time, I struck it. I grabbed her hand and walked her to the back of the shop, into a small hallway between two buildings and kissed her. Well, she kissed me right back. She doesn’t own those buildings any more, but that hallway will always be named the “Tunnel of Love” in the world of S&K.

The Iron waz hot and I struck. Had I not kissed her, who’s to say what would or would not have happened. Lesson learned.

Fast forward another couple years. We’ve been around the block a bit in the broader “lifestyle”at that point; been there, done that. We connected with another local-ish couple, John and Beth, via I think it was Kassidy. After a bit of messaging, we planned to meet.

We met at a cool very rural restaurant with an awesome patio overlooking the Susquehanna river. It was a perfect mid summer night, warm air and clear skies. There was a guy with an acoustic guitar, and all the tables on the patio were full.

All four of us hit it off really well and it seemed to me that a move needed to be made. I made it. As we were in the parking lot I told Beth that I wanted to kiss her, she didn’t disagree, so, we started making out in the parking lot. Kate and John were soon doing just the same thing. We played with them for over a year and are still friendly with them.

When it comes to showing what’s important to someone, actions are always greater than words. How would it have gone if all I did that day if I didn’t take Kate buy the hand? I put skin in the game, literally, in significant ways that words alone can never match.

How does a guy who’s a wannabe cuck take action? There’s just no take her hand and walk her to the Tunnel of Love moment to be had. How does the budding cuck put skin in the game? Factor into this how difficult the initial conversation can be, as a result, cucks get overly hung up on the words.

It’s always struck me that there’s more to “cuck angst” than meets the eye. Typically it’s portrayed as a kind of jealousy and humiliation fueled unrequited hornyness, but that never seemed to get to all of it. I think the lack of action to be taken, the degree of passiveness is also a big part, maybe a bigger part of the angst cocktail than anything else, at least in the early stages. Here’s this thing that has you feeling incredibly powerful ways, and there’s literally no action you can take beyond using your words.

It never fails, when one of the pups or Chow Hound Cats is curled up on either of our laps, we’ll inevitably say we’re trapped, we couldn’t possibly get up to do the dishes or whatever. Cucks are trapped as well, trapped by a desire for something that they can’t do anything about. IDK if it’s a conditioning thing or if it’s deeper than that, but we all know that doing something, taking action, always has more weight than words do.

Part of what makes cuckolding such a difficult thing for the cucks is that it’s a very passive thing. There’s no go for it take action moment like with Kate and the tunnel of love, or Nancy in the parking lot. I’d love to say there’s some sort of secret handshake or whatever but there just isn’t. There’s just not much, if anything, for a cuck to do beyond use their words. I’ve never felt about anything what I feel about Kate being with other men, and there’s nothing I can do, no action I can take. Arguably the most powerful thing I’ve ever felt, 100% the most powerful sexual energy, and it turns out it’s as passive a thing as the day is long.

All that said, given that being a cuck and having a submissive streak seem to go hand in hand, at the end of the day, it’s more or less the price of admission.

Both the weatherman and the actual conditions are in agreement, it’s going to be a cool to cold rainout of a Memorial Day weekend Saturday. We’re on a well here at Casa Da Sam & Kate, so a daylong steady rain is never a horrible thing. The plan for today is to organize and purge our clothes as needed. Big fun. That’s balanced by an afternoon road trip to Stroudsburg to get soap (Kate’s a foo-foo soap girl) and a stop at our favorite restaurant.

Thanks for reading!! Be kind to yourself and others,

Sam & Kate