And Frequently Is

Depending on your point of view, this post started either seven or eight months ago, or several decades ago.  We’ll keep with the former for now.  

We got in contact with a guy on SLS who runs either extended hotel parties or mini hotel takeovers; the second or third “it can be both” in this post. They run for a weekend, but are smaller affairs and don’t buy out the entire hotel; there’s “regular” people staying there as well.  The parties are interracial and hotwife focused, the intention is to bring married (or single) white women into contact with black men. That this is 100% in our wheelhouse shouldn’t be much of a plot twist to regular readers.  

There was a meet and greet each night in an outdoor space the hotel had. A meet and greet is exactly that; the players getting together in a social environment for chit chat and getting to know one another. Our group was roughly 10 single men, and 5 white couples.  The men were collectively dressed for a night out, no T-shirts or ball caps.  The women were all dressed to impress, some showing a good bit of skin and clearly on the prowl. 

To an outsider or bystander, I’m sure we looked pretty close to what we actually were; a group of swingers. This became wink wink nudge nudge clear to me during the second night’s meet and greet.

Given the quasi public location, Kate opted for a bit more subdued look that night; straightened hair, cork wedges, and a braless hippy-esque jumper with slits in the legs.  She looked fantastic, but not over the top. She was channeling her inner (and outer) Cheryl Ladd for sure. Her eye contact with the men around the fire pit made clear her intentions.  

To the right of our group a couple was seated at an adjacent table; close enough to get the murmer of conversation, but not the specifics. We were outdoors and road noise from I-90 helped keep the voices discrete.

At some point, Kate and I both noticed that they had noticed our group.  They were fun to sneak a peek at. Their glances and muffled chuckles made it crystal clear they KNEW what was going on even if they probably couldn’t get the specific labeling right. Part of me wishes we’d struck up a conversation with them, but some conversations are probably better left unspoken. I’d bet they were much more curious than freaked out or horrified.  Our group was respectful of the environment, and looked decidedly put together.  I have nooooo doubt that couple will be telling the story of the “swingers” they saw in Buffalo for a long time.

***

There’s several things I envy about Kate.  

I’ve been a vagabond for most of my adult life, I left home 2 weeks after graduating high school and spent a couple decades in the military.  Kate has deep roots where we live.  She regularly sees people she knew in grade school.  Her daughter, Megan, lives a mile away with her 2 boys in the house Kate grew up in.  The ups and downs, the small intimate stuff and drama that comes from living close by people you’ve known your entire life are here constantly.  Knowing who someone’s parents, siblings, cousins, and ex’s are.  I don’t have that, honestly I probably wasn’t capable of processing it till the last decade or so.  

Another big thing I envy about Kate is she knows who she is sexually, and has known for a loooong time.  Of course, she’s grown and evolved, taken new interests, learned new things; her core is her core tho. I haven’t arrived anywhere yet, tho I think I’m in the ballpark now.

A truism in our 12 step world is that you more or less stop growing and developing when you have your first drink.  The other side is once you get sober, you re-start the maturing process, but from the age you were at the first drink. Obviously that’s not 100% true, but lived experience has shown me that it’s more true for some than others.  I’m one where it’s more true.  In this math universe, I just tuned 24 a few months back, despite the calendar saying I’m 60. 

Obviously there’s wiggle room in there.  I was a (fairly) functional adult for those years; had kids, spent a successful military career in a challenging job, all the things. It’s easier for present day me to see how stunted I was; the perspective of both regular and sober time gives clarity there.  Where Kate had all manner of relationships with all manner of people, I was pretty introverted.  My marriage at the time was decidedly vanilla leaning; fantasy was an outsized part of my sex life.  This only grew when the internet started to become a thing. Turned out it was much easier to hide files on a computer than it was to stash copies of Penthouse under the bed. 

Since Kate and I have been together, I’ve done probably 98.4% of our online stuff. The internet is both an amazing thing and the devil for an introvert with a kinky streak. It’s still easy for me today to get lost in various rabbit holes online; this will be the 126th S&K post after all.  Where doing this blog has been a hugely positive for me and my headspace, most of the other sexual stuff online hasn’t been. It’s very easy for me to slip into an iPad induced trance with the various sites, and forget that the real world with real people has a pronounced tendency to be a good bit different, and wholly real.  

Stepping out into the real world, as Kate and I did last weekend was an excellent reminder to me of why it’s so good to put the computer down and interact with living breathing people.  

I’ve been lost in cuckolding headspace for a while now, that’s not a plot twist. It’s legit, it is a part of who I am, but it’s not the whole enchilada.  I struggled in my online world trying to balance what I was reading and seeing with the reality in front of me. I’ve always struggled with being very linear, very regimented, very “task, condition, standard”.  Kate’s not. She’s much more like Forrest Gump’s feather; ok with where she goes and with what goes on when she gets there.  In my mind there was going to be a cuckolding component to last weekend.  There wasn’t, not much of one anyway. This weekend I remembered that I can be more like Kate and less like me. 

We were swingers again last weekend.  I played with another woman, Kate and I took part in a spontaneous orgy. I didn’t let my self-imposed linearness get in the way. In the theme of our last post, I gave myself permission to stop clinging to being a cuck and to roll with the energy of the evening and in the room. 

As it happens, this post’s word count is getting up there, so we’re going to make a separate post getting into the details of last weekend.  We had a great experience and met some amazing people; it deserves more than a paragraph or two crammed into the my latest ramblings.  

***

Today we had a run to the ER.  Kate went back to work this morning and pretty quickly felt a squeezing sensation in her chest she’d not felt before.  She listened to her body, talked with people, and we made the trip to the hospital.  All’s well, blood and imaging were fine; she’s going to wear a monitor for a couple weeks to see if there’s anything going on. At one point she wondered if her riding the men she did over the weekend brought something on.  

Of course, my mind went to the worst possible outcome while we were driving over, so did Kate’s.  It’s hard not to.  

After we got home, I was still off today and able to take her to the ER, Kate got in her car and made the 5 minute drive to work. On that drive she had one of those “Ah-Haa” moments, a come to Jesus moment, a moment of clarity, whatever works for you.  She saw at depth that life really is literally just about this moment.  Right here.  Right now.  That’s it, that’s all there is.  It’s one thing to know this, it’s another thing to K N O W this.  Kate experienced the latter today.  

Turns out I can wear any one of a few different sexual hats, depending on the moment.  It’s pointless to bemoan one not being there while another is going on, it’s just as silly to cling to one at the expense of others. Kate’s drive to work experience was like the punctuation for the weekend for me. I can be both. I can be a swinger and a cuck.  

***

The podcast is in progress. We’ve recorded two episodes so far, one being the story of last weekend.  Our plan is to go live when we have 8 episodes in the can.  ChatGPT has helped with logo stuff and branding (which isn’t a phrase I ever thought I’d use) and I think will help with the editing, at least learning the software.  

Clifford and Billie, The Wonder Dogs, had basically a spa weekend at Jane’s house while we were off galavanting in Buffalo. Jane is a local-ish woman who “boards” dogs in her house, sharing space with the pups.  She’s GREAT.  Clifford has been there several times and LOVES Jane as well as being there; it was Billie’s first visit. 

Jane usually has several pups around, and this visit was no different.  She sent a lot of pics and videos of our girls frolicking in her yard with a rotating cast of different dogs.  Clifford and Billie both had a great time and were amazingly well tended.  A woman like Jane takes soooo much of the stress of travel off our shoulders, we know our fur babies are well tended.  

Thanks for reading!!!  Be kind to yourself and others,

Sam & Kate